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lyrics

We've known each other for twenty years now
We've had our share of ups and downs but
I wanted to say to you
Yeah, I wanted to say to you

You have a very unusual smell
I'm not saying it's a bad smell, it's just unusual.
And you never have enough crisps.
You can play the guitar.
But let’s be honest, who can’t?
I mean It’s really not that difficult.

And everyone loves your long blonde hair
But really it just makes you look like Courtney Love.
And no one likes Courtney Love.
I had long hair once. It doesn’t last.
And you know, they say you can’t make an omelette
Without breaking eggs
But your omelettes are just awful.

But … I’d rather be a kitten
In a bag full of rocks
If you were in the bag with me
Than be adopted by a family with no children and lots of string
If that meant I’d be without you.
We’re cats in this metaphor, by the way
We’re cats in this metaphor, by the way

[Harmonica solo]

You can’t show affection or say how you feel
You don’t know how to share at all
You’re always eating my crisps, you’re always staring at me
And whispering Courtney Love under your breath (but I can hear you)

And every time I make you rice pudding
You spit it out and say ‘this is the worst omelette I’ve ever eaten’.

But I'd rather be a shepherd without any sheep
If you ran the pub next door
And you'd have no customers and I've have no sheep
But we'd drink every night until dawn
We're drunk in this metaphor by the way
We're drunk in this metaphor by the way

credits

from Eat The Poor (Live), released November 11, 2016
Written & Performed by Jonny & The Baptists.

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Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Nominated for five major awards (they’ve never won any), Jonny & the Baptists – real names Jonny
Donahoe & Paddy Gervers – have rapidly become one of the UK's hottest live musical comedy acts. They've featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4). They once topped the iTunes Comedy Chart
with single ‘Farage’.
... more

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