The Farage EP

by Jonny & The Baptists

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'The Farage EP' was created by Jonny & The Baptists as part of Mark Thomas' 100 Acts of Minor Dissent. The public were asked to give their definitions of the word 'Farage' with an aim to get the winning definition into the Oxford English Dictionary. Jonny & The Baptists were asked to write a song about it to be released in time for the European Elections taking place on May 22nd 2014. Here it is!

Also included on the EP: 'UKIP (Party Song)' - the newest Jonny & The Baptists Single, and 'Angela Merkel' - another new track written for The Now Show on BBC Radio 4.

Download it now!

Track listing:
1. Farage
2. UKIP (Party Song)
3. Angela Merkel


released May 19, 2014

All tracks written and performed by Jonny & The Baptists. Produced and mixed by Rob Sell.



all rights reserved


Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Comedy band 'Jonny & The Baptists' (Jonny Donahoe and Paddy Gervers) have risen rapidly to cult-status in the last year, making the finals of the 'Amused Moose Laughter Awards', the '2013 New Act of the Year Awards' and the 'Musical Comedy Awards', and being featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4) ... more

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Track Name: Farage
Uh-huh, you got it
Drop the beat Nigel
Jonny & The Baptists here
We got ourselves some banging UK Farage

There was a brand new word around, and that word was the talk of the town (Farage)
We didn't know what it might mean but it's a nasty and unpleasant sound (Farage)
We had to find out what it could be, was it a stench or a fungus or pissing yourself publicly?
This country's a democracy, so we had a vote to get it in the dictionary

Is it looking over one's shoulder before saying something racist? (Farage)
Is it stoking public fears without any evidential basis? (Farage)
Is it hiring both your wife and your mistress, even after the affair has ended? (Farage)
Is it a smell that lingers in the air and the culprit can't be apprehended?

We searched the whole wide world
To find the true meaning of Farage
We trawled through a million words
To find the true meaning of Farage

It's pronounced Farage
It's spelt like it sounds
It rhymes with same-sex marriage
Let's spread it around
Like a nuclear spillage
It's an 'idge' not an 'arge'
It's an equality sandwich
Not a bigotry collage
Like post-colonial baggage
It just follows you around
Like an idiot in a village
There's always one to be found
Have you heard about Farage?
It's like Ouzo and sick
That's the thing about Farage
It's onomatopoeic

Mmm. Yeah. What? Yes. Hmm. Good. Mmm-hmm. More. One Two Three Three Four What?

Is it the scum that forms on top of your tea when you leave it to brew for too long? (Farage)
To try and argue that your facts are right even after they've been proven wrong? (Farage)
To try and justify a tedious link like flooding and gay marriage? (Farage)
Just another term for shitting yourself, for example 'Nigel has faraged'? (Farage)

Could it be the collective noun for a group of two or more pricks? (Farage)
Just like you'd have a murder of crows, you'd have a Farage of dicks? (Farage)
There are so many different things that we want this word to mean (Farage)
But at the end of the day only one can reign supreme

So from the whole wide world
Here comes the true meaning of Farage
Out of a million words
Here's the true meaning of Farage

It's the juice from your bin
Start using the word Farage
To describe the juice that lies within
Do you remember Farage?
It's what we used to call bin-juice
But now we have the word Farage
And it's time to set it loose
So watch out for the Farage
It smells like dysentery and gin
Keep away from the Farage
It's made of takeaway and sin
Gotta clean up that Farage
Let's start a new trend
Because nobody wants Farage
So go tell all of your friends

Farage up.
Track Name: UKIP (Party Song)

I got a letter today from someone I don't know
It said that you and I could lead even better lives
I got a letter today from the UK Independence Party
I thought 'they're not for me but why not? I'll go along!'

And when I got there, everyone was dancing
They were all English and dancing so Englishly!
And I thought to myself 'How can they be wrong on
UK independence when they're so right on party?'

I got a letter today from the UK Independence Party
They're really not my bag but they EU's full of Communists
I got a letter today, it was written in blood
And the blood was beautiful like really good blood

And at the party there were a couple of black people
But they said they'd been born here so they were welcome too
They seemed so English, we didn't need to hide our wallets
I mean we still did but we really didn't need to
And that's the point, they were black people
And we were absolutely fine with it

Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
We're the UK Independence Party
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
We think we're still at war with France
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
We're the UK Independence Party
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
Never mind, let's just dance

Hey Paddy, we love UKIP so much we should probably have sex with it!
What, like a threesome?
Yes, a Farage à trois.

You need to vote for us in the European Elections cause
British people have no say in the European Elections
Apart from voting in the European Elections
In that sense I suppose you have a say in the European Elections

Did you know there's no-one left living in Eastern Europe?
They've all migrated here to work in health and safety
They live off benefits and won't let us watch Jim Davidson
They're made in Brussels by a bongo-bongo bunch of sluts

Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh
We'll make Britain great again
Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh
Free corn beef for the under fives
Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh
The Queen's Jubilee will be every day
Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh
Then we'll retake India

Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
The UK Independence Party
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
Can you imagine if we got in power?
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
We haven't got a clue but it's worryingly likely
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
All decisions would be made by the Queen
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
The UK Independence Party
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
We think Britain's an economic power
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
Some of us are also in the EDL
Woah-oh! Woah-oh!
Come on guys, let's just dance!
Track Name: Angela Merkel
We've come full circle, Angela Merkel
Said things that were hurtful, Angela Merkel
Let's start a new chapter in our Merkel chronerkel
I love you so much, you drive me beserkel

You've made Europe workel, Angela Merkel
You've made Europe workel, just like clockworkel
Your knowledge of things fiscerkel and economerkel
Are unparalerkel'd in our universel
And you didn't shirkel at mission impossiberkel
Without you Greece and perhaps Portugerkel
Would've gone hurkelling into a downwards spirkel
So let's rebrand the Euro as the Deutsche-Merkel

And I hope this doesn't make you megalomanierkel
You're so strong Angela Merkel, you could get tyrannerkel
You're more powerful now than Barerk Oberkel
You could take over the world, not just Eurerpel

But at night, I just dream
We could take a mini-brerkel
You and I Angela Merkel at Oktoberferkel
We could wear lederherkel and eat pickled gherkels
And when you dance it is wonderkel, if a little too twerkful
And I'll take you on a journey to Constantinerkel
Wait I am misterkel it's now called Istanberkel
But I know in my heart, it could never ever workel
You're the Chancellor of Europe, I write songs that are toperkel

We've come full circle, Angela Merkel
Said things that were hurtful, Angela Merkel
Let's start a new chapter in our Merkel chronerkel
I love you so much, you drive me beserkel

Angela Merkel, Angela Merkel
I love you, I love you, You're so kisserbel
You drive me so wild, I can't even vocal-
-ise my desire for Angela Merkel
Angela Merkel, Merkel
Angela Merkel, sweet Angela Merkel