The Farage EP

by Jonny & The Baptists

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1.
Farage 03:33
Uh-huh, you got it Drop the beat Nigel Jonny & The Baptists here We got ourselves some banging UK Farage There was a brand new word around, and that word was the talk of the town (Farage) We didn't know what it might mean but it's a nasty and unpleasant sound (Farage) We had to find out what it could be, was it a stench or a fungus or pissing yourself publicly? This country's a democracy, so we had a vote to get it in the dictionary Is it looking over one's shoulder before saying something racist? (Farage) Is it stoking public fears without any evidential basis? (Farage) Is it hiring both your wife and your mistress, even after the affair has ended? (Farage) Is it a smell that lingers in the air and the culprit can't be apprehended? We searched the whole wide world To find the true meaning of Farage We trawled through a million words To find the true meaning of Farage It's pronounced Farage It's spelt like it sounds It rhymes with same-sex marriage Let's spread it around Like a nuclear spillage It's an 'idge' not an 'arge' It's an equality sandwich Not a bigotry collage Like post-colonial baggage It just follows you around Like an idiot in a village There's always one to be found Have you heard about Farage? It's like Ouzo and sick That's the thing about Farage It's onomatopoeic Mmm. Yeah. What? Yes. Hmm. Good. Mmm-hmm. More. One Two Three Three Four What? Is it the scum that forms on top of your tea when you leave it to brew for too long? (Farage) To try and argue that your facts are right even after they've been proven wrong? (Farage) To try and justify a tedious link like flooding and gay marriage? (Farage) Just another term for shitting yourself, for example 'Nigel has faraged'? (Farage) Could it be the collective noun for a group of two or more pricks? (Farage) Just like you'd have a murder of crows, you'd have a Farage of dicks? (Farage) There are so many different things that we want this word to mean (Farage) But at the end of the day only one can reign supreme So from the whole wide world Here comes the true meaning of Farage Out of a million words Here's the true meaning of Farage Farage It's the juice from your bin Start using the word Farage To describe the juice that lies within Do you remember Farage? It's what we used to call bin-juice But now we have the word Farage And it's time to set it loose So watch out for the Farage It smells like dysentery and gin Keep away from the Farage It's made of takeaway and sin Gotta clean up that Farage Let's start a new trend Because nobody wants Farage So go tell all of your friends Farage up.
2.
Woo! Woo-hoo! I got a letter today from someone I don't know It said that you and I could lead even better lives I got a letter today from the UK Independence Party I thought 'they're not for me but why not? I'll go along!' And when I got there, everyone was dancing They were all English and dancing so Englishly! And I thought to myself 'How can they be wrong on UK independence when they're so right on party?' I got a letter today from the UK Independence Party They're really not my bag but they EU's full of Communists I got a letter today, it was written in blood And the blood was beautiful like really good blood And at the party there were a couple of black people But they said they'd been born here so they were welcome too They seemed so English, we didn't need to hide our wallets I mean we still did but we really didn't need to And that's the point, they were black people And we were absolutely fine with it Woah-oh! Woah-oh! We're the UK Independence Party Woah-oh! Woah-oh! We think we're still at war with France Woah-oh! Woah-oh! We're the UK Independence Party Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Never mind, let's just dance Hey Paddy, we love UKIP so much we should probably have sex with it! What, like a threesome? Yes, a Farage à trois. You need to vote for us in the European Elections cause British people have no say in the European Elections Apart from voting in the European Elections In that sense I suppose you have a say in the European Elections Did you know there's no-one left living in Eastern Europe? They've all migrated here to work in health and safety They live off benefits and won't let us watch Jim Davidson They're made in Brussels by a bongo-bongo bunch of sluts Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh We'll make Britain great again Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh Free corn beef for the under fives Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh The Queen's Jubilee will be every day Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh Then we'll retake India Woah-oh! Woah-oh! The UK Independence Party Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Can you imagine if we got in power? Woah-oh! Woah-oh! We haven't got a clue but it's worryingly likely Woah-oh! Woah-oh! All decisions would be made by the Queen Woah-oh! Woah-oh! The UK Independence Party Woah-oh! Woah-oh! We think Britain's an economic power Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Some of us are also in the EDL Woah-oh! Woah-oh! Come on guys, let's just dance!
3.
We've come full circle, Angela Merkel Said things that were hurtful, Angela Merkel Let's start a new chapter in our Merkel chronerkel I love you so much, you drive me beserkel You've made Europe workel, Angela Merkel You've made Europe workel, just like clockworkel Your knowledge of things fiscerkel and economerkel Are unparalerkel'd in our universel And you didn't shirkel at mission impossiberkel Without you Greece and perhaps Portugerkel Would've gone hurkelling into a downwards spirkel So let's rebrand the Euro as the Deutsche-Merkel And I hope this doesn't make you megalomanierkel You're so strong Angela Merkel, you could get tyrannerkel You're more powerful now than Barerk Oberkel You could take over the world, not just Eurerpel But at night, I just dream We could take a mini-brerkel You and I Angela Merkel at Oktoberferkel We could wear lederherkel and eat pickled gherkels And when you dance it is wonderkel, if a little too twerkful And I'll take you on a journey to Constantinerkel Wait I am misterkel it's now called Istanberkel But I know in my heart, it could never ever workel You're the Chancellor of Europe, I write songs that are toperkel We've come full circle, Angela Merkel Said things that were hurtful, Angela Merkel Let's start a new chapter in our Merkel chronerkel I love you so much, you drive me beserkel Angela Merkel, Angela Merkel I love you, I love you, You're so kisserbel You drive me so wild, I can't even vocal- -ise my desire for Angela Merkel Angela Merkel, Merkel Angela Merkel, sweet Angela Merkel

about

'The Farage EP' was created by Jonny & The Baptists as part of Mark Thomas' 100 Acts of Minor Dissent. The public were asked to give their definitions of the word 'Farage' with an aim to get the winning definition into the Oxford English Dictionary. Jonny & The Baptists were asked to write a song about it to be released in time for the European Elections taking place on May 22nd 2014. Here it is!

Also included on the EP: 'UKIP (Party Song)' - the newest Jonny & The Baptists Single, and 'Angela Merkel' - another new track written for The Now Show on BBC Radio 4.

Download it now!

Track listing:
1. Farage
2. UKIP (Party Song)
3. Angela Merkel

credits

released May 19, 2014

All tracks written and performed by Jonny & The Baptists. Produced and mixed by Rob Sell.

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about

Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Nominated for five major awards (they’ve never won any), Jonny & the Baptists – real names Jonny
Donahoe & Paddy Gervers – have rapidly become one of the UK's hottest live musical comedy acts. They've featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4). They once topped the iTunes Comedy Chart
with single ‘Farage’.
... more

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