Fun Things When You're Poor

from by Jonny & The Baptists

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The limited run CD of the songs from our 2016/2017 show 'Jonny & The Baptists: Eat The Poor'- get 'em while they're hot/there! We can even sign it too if you're into that - leave a note with your name/who'd you like it for/something specific you'd like us to write on it!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Eat The Poor (Live) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 6 Jonny & The Baptists releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Eat The Poor (Live), The End Is Nigh (Limited Edition Demo), The Satiric Verses, The Farage EP, Bigger Than Judas (Live In London), and Jonny & The Baptists. , and , .

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lyrics

Ignore all the bills
Waste shopkeeper's time by pretending you could possibly afford something
Can't afford blue cheese? Get cheese and wait
Can't afford cheese? Get milk and wait a bit longer

You can walk instead of the bus
Your can try spaghetti without sauce
Oh no the bailiff's here
Fun things when you're poor

Can't afford skiing? Nail your feet to some wood and fall down a thatched roof.
Can't afford the pub? There's always an open bar at a wake
Can't afford board games? If you don't have monopoly, just walk around London.

You can share a lukewarm bath
You can make an origami hat
Oh no, someone stole your hat
Fun things when you're poor

Develop new adjectives for describing wine. Mmmmm this is less petrolly than I remember.
And if you don't like the taste of cheap wine
Why not try lowering your standards?
Can't afford to see the Greek plays? Create that drama in your own life by murdering your father and screwing your mother

You can sit in your only chair
You can take a day off with the kids
Oh no. You can't.
Fun things when you're poor

Can't afford the cinema? Watch TV.
Can't afford a TV? Look at a picture of a boat
Can't afford a picture of a boat? Draw a picture of a boat
Can't afford to draw a picture of a boat? Imagine a picture of a boat
Never seen a boat? Guess.

Your kids can stand in a park
Your kids can play with a stick
Oh no. The stick has broke.
Oh no. The cat has died.
Oh no. Michael Gove has thoughts.
Oh no. The floods are back.

credits

from Eat The Poor (Live), released November 11, 2016
Written & Performed by Jonny & The Baptists.

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Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Comedy band 'Jonny & The Baptists' (Jonny Donahoe and Paddy Gervers) have risen rapidly to cult-status in the last year, making the finals of the 'Amused Moose Laughter Awards', the '2013 New Act of the Year Awards' and the 'Musical Comedy Awards', and being featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4) ... more

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