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If You Read The Daily Mail

from Songs For The Apocalypse by Jonny & The Baptists

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lyrics

To the people of Middle England, in their 50s, 60s, plus
We are your progeny, and we love you very much
We don’t want to antagonise, don’t want to piss you off
But we’re running out of ways to say ‘Enough is enough’

If you read the Daily Mail then you can’t meet your Grandchildren
We can’t have hate and bile infiltrate their tiny minds
If you read the Daily Express then you can’t see them at all
We won’t have your reactionary thoughts around the small

We know you only read it for the crossword
Yet the crossword book we bought you stays mysteriously unused
We know you only need it for the TV guide
Yet the views you shared at Christmas were not learned from Countryfile

If you read the Daily Mail then you can’t see your Grandchildren
We’ll say we don’t know where you live and haven’t for some time
If you read the Daily Express we’ll say you’re somewhere we can’t find
Cos Gran and Grandpa and their views live in 1959

(Outrage! Immigrants!)

So to the people of middle England who have children in their prime
Heed our words of caution there’s still lots and lots of time
Take up yoga or pilates, learn a language or play whist
But be sure to ditch the tabloids that print bilge and prejudice

(Europe! Women belong at home!)

If you read the Daily Mail then you can’t see your Grandchildren
We’ll tell them that you passed away and that’s the end of the that
If you read the Daily Express we won’t tell them you exist
And your hateful views will die with you and neither will be missed

credits

from Songs For The Apocalypse, released February 12, 2018
Jonny Donahoe - Vocals
Paddy Gervers - Vocals / Guitars
Rob Sell - Orchestral Arrangement & Programming / Drum programming / Keys / Organ
Alice Bonifacio - Vocals
Loz Garratt - Double Bass

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Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Nominated for five major awards (they’ve never won any), Jonny & the Baptists – real names Jonny
Donahoe & Paddy Gervers – have rapidly become one of the UK's hottest live musical comedy acts. They've featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4). They once topped the iTunes Comedy Chart
with single ‘Farage’. ... more

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