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  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a lovely foldy-out gatefold sleeve and is an actual CD.

    The first true Jonny & The Baptists studio album 'Songs For The Apocalypse' - get 'em while they're hot/there! We can even sign it too if you're into that - leave a note with your name/who'd you like it for/something specific you'd like us to write on it!

    We send all CDs ourselves, so if we're on tour (which we are at time of release) please be aware they may take slightly longer to send! Thank you!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Songs For The Apocalypse via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    10
    releases

    Get all 10 Jonny & The Baptists releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of End Of An Era (The Elizabethan One) - Full Live Show Video, Dance Like It Never Happened, Love You & Hate Bastards, Songs For The Apocalypse, Eat The Poor (Live), The End Is Nigh (Limited Edition Demo), The Satiric Verses, The Farage EP, and 2 more. , and , .

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lyrics

Where have all the old men gone?
They are not here, there's something wrong
My feet are tired, my mouth is drying
I want a pint of mild and scampi fries
But you've got staff with asymmetric hair
And you've written the word 'gastro' everywhere
I want ales in jugs, I wanna listen to Suggs
I wanna be where the air is thick with bugs
I want pickled eggs and scratchings not hummus and pitta
What do you mean you don't serve bitter?
Your staff don't need work they need a babysitter
You're a pub, not a hipster - how can you be on Twitter?

You are not a pub
If your lights come on at 11.01
You are not a pub
If your landlord isn't just a little bit racist
You are not a pub
Jugs of cocktails, some of them with milk in
You are not a pub
If your fruit machine has been replaced with a DJ
You are not a pub
Empty restaurant room - can't drink in there
You are not a pub
UKIP posters in the window
You are not a pub
If you haven't any genuine taxidermy
You are not a pub
Oh look over there it's Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
You are not a pub
If you have more than one variety of wine
You are not a pub
If you order Apple Sourz and it's available

Wifi (not a pub)
Thai food (not a pub)
Twitterfeed (not a pub)
Tapenade (not a pub)
Nametags (not a pub)
Instagram (not a pub)
Soy Milk (not a pub)
Dubstep (not a pub)
Bon Iver (not a pub)
Ramakins (not a pub)
Wasabi peas (not a pub)
Vegans (Bahhh)
Skrillex (not a pub)
Tea-lights (not a pub)
Not a pub (not a pub)
Not a pub (Wahhh)

You are not a pub.

credits

from Songs For The Apocalypse, released February 12, 2018
Jonny Donahoe - Vocals
Paddy Gervers - Vocals / Guitars / Drum Programming / Claps / Clicks
Rob Sell - Drum Programming / Claps
Alice Bonifacio - Vocals / Violin / Claps
Loz Garratt - Double Bass
Josh Middleton - Accordion

license

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about

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Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Nominated for five major awards (they’ve never won any), Jonny & the Baptists – real names Jonny
Donahoe & Paddy Gervers – have rapidly become one of the UK's hottest live musical comedy acts. They've featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4). They once topped the iTunes Comedy Chart
with single ‘Farage’. ... more

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