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The Goblet Of Marriage

from Jonny & The Baptists by Jonny & The Baptists

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lyrics

I was walking through the waters of loneliness
Falling through the passage of time
I knocked upon the doorway of metaphor
Fate answered and led me inside
He offered me the goblet of marriage
He served it with the biscuit of chance
I overdid it on the figurative fig-rolls
Then the Devil came to ask me to dance

And he said 'Jonny
I've been watching you from afar
I know that you're lonely
Give me your soul and I will
Cure your broken heart'

And he offered me his magical contract
I signed it with the biro of Christ
He led me to my damsel of destiny
Who'd been stood up in the Nando's of life
Abandoned by the fairytale ending
Nothing left but a refillable Sprite
And the Devil said 'This is your future'
He reached inside me and pulled out his prize

And she said 'Devil
You promised me a tall man with hair
This is not what I ordered'
But the Devil just laughed
And disappeared into thin air
So I said to her

'You're no fairytale princess
I'm no knight in no armour
But the Devil has offered us
And average ever-after
You don't wanna be with me
I don't think you're all that
But the alternative's the box marked single
And this is better than that'
Oh yeah
This is better than that
This is marginally better than that

So we settled for a house on the outskirts
'Cause we can't afford to live where it's nice
We got ourselves a dog and a baby
'Cause the benefits exceeded the price
We wanted to try for another
But we can't even bear to kiss
We sold our souls to the Devil
And all we got in return was this

Shouldn't have sold my soul to the Devil
I guess that's why they say
'Don't sell your soul to the Devil'

'You're occasionally racist
I'm quite bitter in bed
But you'll get child maintenance
And tax breaks when I'm dead
You take your ring off at parties
I'm getting unpleasantly fat
The alternative's a dinner for one
And this is better than that'
Is this better than that?
I'm not convinced this is better than that

This is the outro, this is the outro
This is the outro, this is the outro
This is the outro, this is the outro
This is the outro, this is the motherfucking outro

Da da dee da dada, da da dee da dada, dada
Ha, Ha, Ha, Haiayyyy
Da da dee da dada, da da hoo oooooOOOoooh
Da da dee da dada, Da da dee da dada, and
We haven't written words to this bit
Ooooooooooooooooh
It's a metaphor
It's a metaphor
It's a metaphor
It's a quite laboured metaphor
About social pressures
Don't succumb to social pressures
It's a metaphor

credits

from Jonny & The Baptists, released October 10, 2013
Written and Performed by Jonny & The Baptists.

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Jonny & The Baptists London, UK

Nominated for five major awards (they’ve never won any), Jonny & the Baptists – real names Jonny
Donahoe & Paddy Gervers – have rapidly become one of the UK's hottest live musical comedy acts. They've featured on 'The Now Show' (BBC Radio 4), 'The Infinite Monkey Cage' (BBC R4), 'The Gadget Show' (Channel 5) and 'Sketchorama' (BBC R4). They once topped the iTunes Comedy Chart
with single ‘Farage’. ... more

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